I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so
difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending
someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I want to say
to all of you:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive
gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Scotland great (not
to imply that Scotland is necessarily greater than any other country or is
the only "Scotland" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the
race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable
at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited
to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion
of the wisher.
Modest wishes to you all,
Ms. Anonymous (I wish not to offend anyone by disclosing the ethnicity and
history of my name.)
P.S. Next time, I will send my greetings on slate so the environmentalists
are not offended. HAPPY WHATEVER!!!
