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Nov 8, '07 5:43 PM
for everyone

This is just something that I'm curious about...

I have seen that some sisters "change" their name to Umm and the name of their male child. Why is this? And if a woman doesn't have children then how is she called?

Just curious. May be some of you that use this name changing can give me some light.

Salam Aleikum!

Tags: islam

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ummali03 wrote on Nov 8, '07

Umm is mom. I am sure you have heard the word ummi. Ummi means my mom. When you say umm then the child it means mother of this child. Like I am mother of ali.

A man can do it to, you say abu instead of umm.

If you don't have children you can say zawjat(sp) then your husbands name. Meaning wife of this man

Its called a kunya, like a nickname.Some women are to shy to share their name.

In Egypt alot of times the mom is even called by her oldest sons name. I have been called Ali several times not just ummali. I don't like that I say call me ummali.

needledreams2 wrote on Nov 8, '07

I know about this here in Egypt, that's why I was asking. Is this like a kind of respect or something like that? My mother i law even "fight" when someone calls any of their daughters or daughters in law by their name. She's always saying that you MUST never call a woman by her proper name. But because I know that she believes in a lot of superstitions I prefer to ask to someone that follows correctly Islam than to ask anyone of the family.

Thanks for the answer!

ummali03 wrote on Nov 8, '07

As far as I know there is nothing that says you can't call a women by her name. Look at the hadeeth, women were called by there name.

Some women though are shy and don't want men to know there name so they go by ummali. Others like the meaning. Some just like the nickname

I personally do it because I don't really use my real name online to much. Plus I am a mom and I love the meaning. Also in public I can go by ummali, if someone doesn't know me I say I am ummali.

ummali03 wrote on Nov 8, '07

You know some people have a kunya and don't have kids, or use a kunya that is not one of there kids name.

Like Abu Bakar. He didn't have any son named Bakar. Many of the women did it to.

So I am not sure how to do this, but I am sure you can go by one if you like.

mariecholette wrote on Nov 8, '07

Well... I am not a muslim sister, but I can share what I know of it. "Um" means mother of. If not mother of, then will be daughter of.."bint"... or zawjat as ummali said.

You will find that in many arab cultures, men avoid calling a woman by her own name, it could be disrespectful to a father or husband, so they prefer to address them as mother of, daughter of, or wife of. In our culture, for example, it is ok for a man to ask another man how his wife is... But the same could be disrespectful in some arabic, or persian cultures, it could be taken as an interest in the wife and be very offensive... These are old practices, more cultural than religious. Some men would not tolerate to hear their wife's name, through another man's mouth. You find that alot in the iraqi culture for exemple, where it could be an act of provocation for a woman to eat in front of a non mahram men... I always enjoy studying those culture differences. It's very interesting.

ummnusaybah wrote on Nov 8, '07, edited on Nov 8, '07

I was going to comment the same kind of answers,but they have explained it well enough,but I will share something a sister told me just last week, about the word Umm, she said in her country which she is from Jordan,some don't use it until they are older ,or have older children..because I use UmmAhmad, I use it because of the reasons above/below & also ppl seem to have a problem calling me by my first name ,among my friends because its used a lot and can be said different ways,so my sons arabic teacher got confused and said to make things clear we will call u UmmAhmad ,and I have been this for 7 years. I chose UmmNusaybah because when I had to sign up for multiply UmmAhmad was taken and refused to have numbers and things after it ,its annoying to me ..lol so I took the name of my baby girl .. just thought I would add that so u wouldn't be like huh ..she has two names now.

mariecholette wrote on Nov 8, '07

Well this whole thing turned me into "Um Christopher". Got everyone laughing everytime they used it ;)

mariecholette wrote on Nov 8, '07

It is not islamic, nor religious, it is only cultural. You will find no evidence that sustains that you cannot call a woman by her name.

ummismail wrote on Nov 9, '07

a sign of Respect is how i get it from Egypt and it is a good thing Masha allah I feel it is a honor to be called Ummismail thats my baby lol lol. I cannot contribute it to Islam it is Cultural I believe

needledreams2 wrote on Nov 10, '07

Thanks to all the answers! Very appreciated. I just like my nickname of Wally or Aisha as they call me here. I won't like to be called by my husband's name or a child's name. Just me.

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